Being a professional procrastinator is a full-time job I just haven’t gotten around to updating my résumé yet. I’ve mastered the art of doing everything except the thing I’m supposed to do. Need to clean my entire room, alphabetize my bookshelf, or suddenly learn how to make sourdough bread? All perfectly reasonable tasks... when I’m avoiding writing a simple email. My motto? “Why do today what you can panic about tomorrow?”

But the truth is, procrastination isn’t about laziness it’s about skillfully dodging responsibility with flair. I work best under pressure, or at least that’s what I tell myself five minutes before a deadline. And when I finally do finish something, the rush of accomplishment is almost worth the chaos. Almost. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make a very detailed to-do list… and then ignore it completely. Shutdown123